Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Your Dash

At my daughter's dance class tonight, the director and I had an impromptu chat session with 10 girls ranging from age 11 to 16. The director had stopped the girls mid-dance because she h
ad been troubled recently by the spirit of apathy (for the younger girls) and "boy-crazy drama" (for the older girls) within the group, which is a Christian liturgical dance ensemble. The director spoke to them about valuing themselves and walking the Earth as an example of God's grace, of not succuming to the pressures to have sex, to be popular, to cuss, to dance suggestively, and to be distracted by their life goals. As I sat there listening to them individually speak of the "drama" in their lives - some of them giggly and ditzy and others teary and troubled - I was moved to jump into the conversation and offer my own words on wisdom about staying focused on your goals and not let distractions waylay your dreams. Suddenly I was inspired to tell them about a poem I'd read about how the day of one's birth and one's death are pre-ordained by God and how what we do with our life in between those dates is oh, so important in determining how we will be remembered by those we leave behind. The poem is below:




HOW DO YOU LIVE YOUR DASH
by Linda Ellis

I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
From the beginning…to the end.

He noted that first came her date of birth
And spoke the following date with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all


For that dash represents all the time
That she spent alive on earth…
And now only those who loved her
Know what that little line is worth.
For it matters not, how much we own;
The cars…the house…the cash,
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard…
Are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left,
That can still be rearranged.


If we could just slow down enough
To consider what’s true and real,
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.
And be less quick to anger,
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect,
And more often wear a smile…
Remembering that this special dash
Might only last a little while.

So, when your eulogy’s being read
With your life’s actions to rehash…
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent your dash?

Copyright 1996,1998 Visit the author's website:


You should have seen the looks on the girls' faces. "That's deep," was the concensus around the studio. I advised them to live each day, treasure each moment, choose the words they speak, evaluate their friends and boyfriends, and pursue their dreams with their "dash" in mind. No matter how old we are when we die, it's the "dash" that will define us. Hopefully the dancers will absorb my words. But if I have touched one girl, including my daughter, I'm happy.


AJ

5 comments:

Chicki Brown said...

Do you know that old song, "Then My Living Will Not Be in Vain?" Tramaine Hawkins sings it better than anyone I know. Well, the song says in part, "If I can help somebody along the way, then my living will not be in vain." Sometimes we take the small things we do in the course of the day for granted.

Young girls, particularly African-American girls need strong, respectable role models -- regular women to speak into their lives to balance out the negative images they receive from TV, movies and music videos.

GOOD FOR YOU!

Angela Jefferson said...

Amen sista!

Chelle Sandell said...

Even one person touched can make a huge difference. At least you are trying. What makes me sad are all the parents of teens that want to be "friends" instead of parents. Then when the kid acts out they can't understand what happened. My son has been mad at how strict I am but he is seeing other parents even worse and said he would rather deal with me.

Jennifer Shirk said...

What a wonderful poem. I'm going to copy it and read it to my little girl when she's that age.

Thanks for sharing.

Anonymous said...

What a beautiful poem!
And it's so true.